Say Hello to the Sea of Green

Contributing writer:
Shao, Political Guru of the Steez Conglomerate


Allah Akbar…Marg bar Khamenei

Imagine a nation’s masses, strewn amongst a Sea of Green, chanting these exact words each night from the balconies of their homes in concerted defiance against an unjust, oppressive, and tyrannical regime.

Ain’t it a beautiful thing?

The situation in Iran has become increasingly complex. For those who have no idea what I’m alluding to…you must live under a rock. A very large rock. And by very large I mean, if people were hustling stones like their retirement plans depended on it, even Oprah couldn’t afford this one...

Since June 12th, the Iranian people have taken to the streets, reinvigorated by a long-brewing desire for a kind of social dignity that their political system has repeatedly refused. This is no random hood riot. These forces have been bubbling to the surface for years…fueled by bleak economic outlooks and despotic mullahs. For far too long, the youth have been thinking, no more velayat-e faqui gone unchecked. The stolen election was just the spark they needed. Say hello to the Sea of Green.



The funny thing is, their quarterback Mir Hussein Mossavi isn’t some charismatic, young, eloquent, Oxford and Yale educated leader looking for a revolution. During the election he was just, by many means, the lesser of two evils. The “moderate” reformist candidate who was willing to consider breakin’ a piece of that Kit Kat Bar with the US.

And how does the US play into this? Well, it depends on who you ask.

On one end, there’s the GOP. Ridin’ that damn horse-blinders wearin’, shotgun slingin’ elephant full speed towards tougher rhetoric. In the last week they’ve seized upon Obama’s restraint in discourse to suggest B is just being weak. I liken it to Jim Jones saying Jay Z doesn’t have legitimate swag.

Are you fucking kiddin’ me?

This is Jay Z and Nas beef, post-Peace Treaty. The US and the Sea of Green have a tacit understanding. But here come the Cam’ron’s and Jim Jones’s of the world, who just need to let go of their washed up careers and that damn Autotune.

On another end, there’s Ayatollah Khamenei and his Ahmadinejad loving cronies. Truth is they’re sitting there, hoping and praying for some EU style, blatantly outraged, pro-protester sound bytes to seize upon. What better way to disenfranchise the hearts and minds of young Iranian activists than to say the big, bad, blundering American devils are playing the meddlesome Imperialist Puppet Master, again?

What do I say? Yes, we support the fundamental principles of democracy. And yes, that is what these protests are all about. But let’s take a quick history lesson about intervention, for better or for worse…

Let’s start with the 1953 CIA backed coup d’etat that eventually replaced a democratically elected Mossadeq with the iron fisted Shah. (This later sparked the flame for the Iranian hostage crisis, too). Then there was Jimmy Carter, who just couldn’t keep his mouth shut about his (no homo!) love for Pahlavi. Here comes Ayatollah Khomeini in ’79. We all know how that turned out.

How do we feel about tough discourse on the Iranian election, now? This is a global game of chess and spouting at the mouth, Cold War style, is like putting our binkey-wielding toddlers up against the Decepticons.

Leave it to the people, to lead the peoples’ fight. It ain’t bullets and ballots out there, anymore. It’s bullets, batons, tear gas, and bodies. Here's to the Iranian youth, holdin’ it down out there on the streets. What can we do here at home? End our oil addiction. Focus less on useless rhetoric and more on our own "Sea of Green" revolution. Stop fanning the flames that sustain these autocratic oil regimes. Literally. And with that…I leave you with this:

“I will participate in the demonstrations tomorrow. Maybe they will turn violent. Maybe I will be one of the people who is going to be killed. I’m listening to all my favorite music. I even want to dance to a few songs. I always wanted to have very narrow eyebrows. Yes, maybe I will go to the salon before I go tomorrow!

I wrote these random sentences for the next generation so that they know we were not just emotional under peer pressure. So they know that we did everything we could to create a better future for them. So they know that our ancestors surrendered to Arabs and Mongols but did not surrender to despotism. This note is dedicated to tomorrow’s children.” –Anonymous Student

Allah Akbar…Mo’afagh bashed, Iran.